Lesbians.

Here’s a post dedicated to all you horny dudes out there. Most of you GUYS won’t even be reading my opening for this post as you are too busy spamming the “Read the rest of this entry>>” button eager to see what’s due coming.

Before we get to that, i would like to notify that Vincentwwj will NOT take any responsibility on whatever websites you might or might not visit after reading this post. Vincentwwj will also NOT be responsible for any rape cases commited after reading this post. Vincentwwj will also NOT be responsible for any chumshots that kill grandmothers after/during reading this post. (Watch American Pie : The Naked Mile to understand this.)

Its about time to bite the mosquitoes back!

Dengue fever cases are currently rising in Malaysia especially in the Petaling Jaya area. Sheltox simply won’t do. Mosquito coils don’t kill them. What can we do to stop them ? Click on to find out !

Happy Chinese New Year!

Greetings and salutations dear readers! Ahh, Chinese New Year. A time for family and friends. Gambling and red packets we call Ang Pau. Mandarin oranges and the colour of red everywhere. Lion dances as well as the sound of old erhu playing from the old wise neighbours. How did you spend your Chinese New Year ?

Hello Readers!

Hello there readers ! I bet most of you are wondering why i switched to WordPress instead of Blogger. Well, for one, the admin mode for wordpress is so much better than blogger! And sometimes, blogger chooses to be a cunt and fail my signing in as well as uploading photos for your pleasure. For another advantage, I get to import my old posts from blogger ! Anyways, stay tuned for the next post really soon! Like. After lunch!

New Chinese Valentines Year.

Valentines and Chinese New Year comes close this year! With only 4 days apart, most people can’t decide whether to give their loved ones a great big bouqet of roses, OR a BIG, FAT, HUUUGE sign that says. OWNED. at the Mah Jong table.
February is a month i really look forward to. First of all, its someone’s birthday. (: It’s also Valentines. And the best part is that its also Chinese New Year! Chinese New Year is a guilt free 15 day pass at gambling and laughing at every single thing ! Not to mention all the great feasts you’ll get to have while celebrating it with different members of the family. Of course, you wouldn’t want to add on a few pounds after those feasts and looking like this.
Not only that, you get to even spend time with all of your relatives who are out of town etc. The bad thing about this is, its usually hot during this time. And Ipoh is like a zillion degrees hotter than KL. What I would give to be as cool as this guy.

Not much to post about here. Hopefully when i get back from Ipoh I’ll have something to blog about. (: Till then, stay tuned! And visit www.crapfm.blogspot.com for the fullest bullshit you can possibly think of! Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Valentines Day as well as HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! (:

I give de death.

It happened a while ago. Yep. My little deformed, diseased turtle had finally died.

There it is. All shrivelled up. Wrinkly eyed. Black as ever. I think turtle go black when they die. INTRODUCING, Nigga Turles!

So anyways, mom bought another 2 turtles. And they were two big fools. Bigger than my lonely, lonesome, alone, single turtle. I was so scared they’d bully him. ( I just take it as a him ) One day, i put them out so that they could bask in the sun. But the depressed turtle wasn’t eating since i got him. And it died.

My maid who saw it dead, thought it died from the sun. She then placed my turtle tank behind the blinds. So when the wind blew, The blinds pushed the tank to the floor and one of my turtle scurried down the drain pipe. Byebye lil turtle. ): Oh well, I still have one. (: The one i liked most. And he’s still here. From the very beginning! Maybe he pushed the other turtle down the drain pipe! O:

Oh well, life’s a bitch. (:

Scarred.

I’ve just realised my body has been taking many a blow. And its all because of my stupidity and carelessness. I have uncountable scars over me(To a 5 year old). Cause they can’t count pass 10. Even i’m not sure how many i have. But here are some which has been around for quite some time. And these are major scars mind you. One thing about these scars is that, it all has a history behind them. And i’ll never forget them. As they’ll always be there. (:

So i’ll start off with a wound. One that i recently aquired from Volleyball training. I scratched it against the court.

I then lead on towards my highly abused leg. Notice multiple scars there? There are actually a whole lot more. The camera can’t really see the really old scars. Notice there are two scars seperated ? Those are actually scars from different accidents. I forgot which one was which. But one of them was when i got knocked down by the motorcycle. The other one was when I dived out of the car because i was arguing with my mom and couldn’t take her babbling and i.. I’ll just start the story.

*My Car Diving Experience*

I was on the way to training when mom suddenly went PMS all over me even though she’s menopausing. I argued back. And we were shouting. I forgot about what. I then opened the car door. She kept quiet thinking i wouldn’t do it. But what she doesn’t know is that i’ve been watching too much tv. And I thought i could land like all those heroes, unbruised and uncut. She just kept quiet. I then closed the door. She then started babblling again. I checked the

speed of the car. It was about 40km/hour. *Divable i suppose*, I thought.

( My scarred ankle )

Without thinking i opened the car door, grabbed my bag, and stepped out of the car. I heard my leg drag against the road. My eyes tightened and closed. I thought i had fainted. I opened my eyes and i thought i passed out. Maybe i was too scared that i had momentarily blacked out.

( My scarred elbow that was stiched )

Mom’s car was about 20 metres in front. My shoe was off my leg and lay about 4 metres behind. My bag was right beside me. I stood up, and saw my knee, my ankle and my toe bleeding. (My baby toe) I got my bag, walked over to my shoe, wore my shoe and limped towards the stadium entrance. Then i felt blood slowly flowing down from my elbow to my finger tips. I looked and saw that my elbow was bleeding like crazy.

*End of Car Diving Experience*

And here’s a scar from ice skating in Standard 6. Not much of a story here. Except my hairy hand is blocking it. A little. (:

I got this beaut when i was kicked by Phee Chien that day when we went out to Pyramid to go skating. Guess what. He kicked me with the blade. I screamed like a silly little kindergarden girl. And uh. Don’t mind the hair. Its in the way.

Breakdancing Battle

So yesterday, i went to The Curve to meet up with my fellow friends to watch the Breakdancing Battle which was going on at Cineplex. This was my first dance competition that i have ever witnessed! And it was awesome. However, i was conned by Ming Xiang that it started at 4pm. When it actually started at 6.30. So anyways, I got there about 1pm and walked around with Ming Xiang and his friend, my new found friend, Vincent. He’s cool.

Conclusion : Vincents are cool.

We then met Wai Hong and ate the best brownies in KL. Yup. We walked all the way to One Utama just to indulge in the chocolate brownies Miss Read’s has to offer. The warm chocolate sauce tantalises the taste buds. The soft brownie melts in your mouth. Leaving behind a whole new taste and definition to the word “chocolate”. I was simply mesmerised by how good a chocolate brownie could be.

Oh and i was checking out Wai Hong’s LG Chocolate. With has touch screen control, camera + video recorder + mp3 player and who knows what else. Interested? Click here. I’m not gonna be doing phone reviews yet. (: I just took his phone and took a picture of him.

We then watched the breakdancers battle it out back at the curve. Not much pictures any more. (: They were good though. Some sucked. And almost all of them were pretty lan si. Showing some, erm. Body gestures. One guy, showed a body gesture saying, SUCK MY CO*K. And another guy nearly kicked a guy’s face.

There was also backflips, front flips and a lot more. But seriously, you have to see it to believe it. If i’m not wrong they’ll be having their finals next week Saturday. Sadly, i’m going back to Ipoh that day. So i won’t be able to see it. Any other people who can see it, i suggest you go. You won’t regret it.
I’m interested in this dance. But i’d really rather learn TAP DANCING. Its so much more nicer.

Unexpected Visitor.

So there i was. Sleeping in my bed. When suddenly,”VINCENT! COME DOWN!” Shocked and with the letters WTF going through my mind in various angles and mulitple ways, repeatedly, I rose up from my bed as though a hooker just walked in and said she’d give me free trials for 100days.

Vincent : “WHY?”
FC : “GOT ALLIGATOR!!!”
Vincent : “HUH?!?? ALLIGATOR??!”
FC : “YA QUICKLY COME DOWN!!!”

(What would an alligator be doing in my house ?! Or even around the area!!@#%!^&#*!#@)

I went down to find a MONITOR LIZARD, not an alligator. My maid mistook it as an alligator and called me and FC to take a look. I got the broom and poked it. It ran and jumped 1 storey down only to run into my dog’s cage. Hapilly, we locked it in.

After calling FC’s friend who rares monitor lizards, we described its characteristics to him and asked if we could catch it and sell it to a store. Sadly, he said it was an endangered species and had to be captured by the right athaurities. He told us to be carefull as the monitor lizard’s claws could pierce through our skin as deep as 2 inches. That’s about half of my forearm. And he said if you get bitten, it wouldn’t let go. And some might be able to inject venom from their teeth. No act of heroism here please.
We then called Civil Defense who said they’d be there in 15 minutes. By 30 minutes, we called Bomba as they still weren’t here. They got here in 15 minutes. When they said they would have been there by 5 minutes. I wonder what would happen if my house caught fire ? In 15 minutes i could run around screaming for help like a silly school girl and people might help me before bomba get’s here.

They used the long-stick-with-a-loop-at-the-end thing to hold it down. They held its tail cause if it sweeps it on the ground it’ll act like a whip and whip your legs. Its pain. And it doesn’t appeal to people who enjoy bondage either. Unless you’re a real masochist. Then i suggest you take this little baby into bed with you.

They then tied the little HUGE thing up. And made several comments when they were doing so.
“Wah nasib baik you orang panggil kita ni.”
“Yala bang in besar kuat oh.”
“Mestilah, ini heavy duty ni.”

(he stares around the garden containing lots of dog shit)

“Wah. Semua orang hati hati oh. Sini banyak booby trap.”

For a guy who works with bomba, he seems totally okay. He was nice and polite etc. So were the workers. One of them was really really really afraid of the thing and kept running away from it even though they had already caught it. And he screamed like a silly school girl. Seriously.

All tied up and ready to go. Bye monitor lizard. I’ll miss you so.

3rd Day in Hong Kong. [Part 2]

First of all, I’d like to thank my fellow readers for showing such enthusiasm in my blog. Politely asking me to update my blog makes me feel thankful that my work is appreciated. Unlike other party who demands i discontinue some of my blogging topics because it does not appeal to him/her. Well, this is my blog. And i shall blog about whatever i want. (:

So anyways, continuation of my previous post.

From the super long queue, we saw a couple of Ang Mohs take a cab to The Peak itself. Now why didn’t we think of that. :/ We simply assumed the only way to get there was to take the tramp right up. So we then took two cabs since we had 6 people right up to The Peak.

In Hong Kong, a regular taxi driver can really have an assuring future.

In Malaysia
First Kilometer : RM 2.00
Every 200 metres : RM 0.10
First TWO Kilometres : RM 2.00 + (RM 0.10 x 5) = RM 2.50

In Hong Kong
First TWO Kilometres : RM 7.50
Every 200 metres : RM 0.70
We reached there too late to indulge in the sunset. So we had to settle for Hong Kong’s night view. Up on the peak, we saw a cute little cottage that was actually a restaurant. Pretty nifty for a restaurant in Hong Kong. Everything seems so ”Char Chan Teng” here.
And here’re some shots taken from the peak. It comes out at almost every Hong Kong movie. The view is just simply so spectacular. But in most movies they take it from a helicopter. To get the soaring through the air effect.
We then went to “Women’s market”. Its one of the biggest markets around. In Hong Kong, their Pasar Malam’s are THE main attraction. Not only does it have stalls, it also has a few branded shops on the same row.All of these shops were on the same street. Nike must really like Hong Kong. Or maybe they support piracy so much they actually cetak rompaked Nike.

Mah Jong is also a way of life here in Hong Kong. They have several Mah Jong centres here in Hong Kong. I never stepped inside though. I’d totally die from the smoke inside.S.H.M.C.
M.C stands for MahJong Centre.

They even have their own logo.

Oh. And here i am, being high at the train station.

And then back to the hotel and called it a night.
End of Day 3.